


The Legendary Mr. Bones

by RuminantRambling



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Fluff, Gen, spoopy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:09:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26803426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RuminantRambling/pseuds/RuminantRambling
Summary: Several years after the war. The children of Dimitri and Byleth are boisterous and happy. Lambert, Jeralt, Sothafina and Glenn, their beautiful and sometimes naughty children are currently in trouble. Let's have a look in on the little troublemakers and see what's going on.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	The Legendary Mr. Bones

“Homework! Momma gave us homework during winter break?“ Jeralt huffs at his twin sister.

“Well, if you wouldn’t have broke the vase we probably could still be playing Knights and thieves in the halls. She’s just keeping us busy and out of trouble. I know these things.” Sothifina complains, her brows furrowing over her emerald green eyes.

Lambert, oldest of the four Blaiddyd children gathers them into an old meeting room that was repurposed for their tutoring. Seated at the end of a large table they gather writing instruments and parchment.

The Queen enters with the youngest child. Blue hair and large blue eyes, the boy is lowered from his mother’s hip. He hugs his mother’s legs, then runs to his siblings, hugging them all like it has been weeks since he has seen them when in reality it has only been since breakfast. Lambert picks up his little brother and seats him on the chair next to him. There are a few books on the seat as a booster, so that he can see well over the top of the table. Lambert places the box of colored waxes next to him with papers. Glenn is barely six and learning to write letters and his name. Professor Ignatz says he has natural talent, so Glenn will be the artist for this project.

“I want you all to work on writing a story for me. When it is finished you can read it to us before bedtime. You all will work together on it.” The Queen smiles, however, the children heard that serious tone to her voice, and they would have to follow her royal orders. “I will have lunch brought to you. Lambert is in charge. Jeralt, before you try to escape, I have a guard posted at the door.”

An audible groan emits from the younger of the blonde boys and he puts his forehead on the table.

“Behave. I love you.” Queen Byleth says as she leaves, closing the door behind her.

“Told you.” Sothifina says with a smirk.

Jeralt creeps to the door and sneaks a peak through a crack. “It’s Bones. We’re stuck.” Trudging back to his chair he puts his elbow on the table and jams his chin onto his hand.

“What shall we write about?” the eldest works to get them organized.

Glenn chirps excitedly, “Lammy! We can write about Mister Bones!” The most creative of the bunch has found the answer.

“Yes!” Jeralt begins to get excited. “We can have sword fights and battles and …”

“Magic!” Sothifina cuts in.

The four are now excited about the project. Lambert takes notes about what to include in the story.

_The prince was lost deep in the woodlands of Faerghus, far from his warm, safe home in Fhirdiad. He bravely battled alone against thieves and brigands and everyone that had threatened the peaceful life in the nearby villages. It was a cold and stormy night when he sought refuge in a hut nestled deep within the darkest, scariest heart of the woods. He was not well._

“That’s a good start.” Lambert says, thinking out loud.

“But you only say there was fighting. I want to talk about the fight itself, and blood spraying and arms flying off and sparks when the blades hit each other.” Whines Jeralt as he waves his quill around like a sword stabbing in the direction of his sister.

“I know what comes next, let me do this part.” Sothifina’s eyes sparkle as she puts ink to paper.

_The Prince entered the dilapidated building with great caution. The furniture was ruined and appeared to be very, very, old. Taking his lance tip, he poked at the bed but only found the nests of rats and mice. At the foot of the bed, covered in decaying cloths, he jabbed his lance into the pile and was rewarded with the sound of something solid amongst the refuse. He swiped the filthy and ruined materials to find a black box. It stood as tall as his knee and was covered by black metal. The box was locked. No normal man would be able to open the lid of the box, but the Prince was certainly not ordinary. As if he were opening a birthday present, he ripped the lid from the box and peered inside._

_A dark black book covered in magical runes sat on the top. He did not know magic so he put it away to save for his daughter._

“You can’t say that. He didn’t know anything about getting married, much less having kids at that time.” Lambert frowns

Okay, Okay Let me fix it.” Sothifina sticks her tongue out of the corner of her mouth as she concentrates.

_He did not know magic, but felt it wise to stash the book away, keeping it safe from enemy hands._

That’s better, now we can talk about enemies with swords and blades and fighting.” Jeralt chimes in.

“No. Not yet. Remember father has told us these stories, but we are trying to write it more focused on Mister Bones.” The lone girl chastises her twin, trying very much to sound like mother.

Jeralt sits back in his chair, resting his cheek in his palm as he kicks the table leg next to him while trying to be patient.

_Below the book there were three mysterious daggers, each having a different colored stone within the center of the hilt. A ring lay alongside them. The last and most important item in the box was a sack tied with a red ribbon. The sack was very old, but it looked new compared to everything else found in the hut. He took it out of the box and lay it on the ground. He untied the sack and peered inside. It was nothing but a bag of old bones. human bones, and nothing else. He turned away to poke at other piles on the floor with his lance when a rattling sound caught his attention. Strange magic was afoot as before him, from the bones in the sack a skeleton started to assemble itself. The last piece was the skull that rolled up the front of the body and settled on the neck. The skeletons hands made a final adjustment and then stood absolutely still in front of him. The man stood back and gasped, his hand coming to his heart. “What kind of monster are you?” he said as he was shocked to see the skeleton._

_“Bonesss” the skeleton answered. So he called the skeleton Bones from then on._

_Bones stayed with the prince throughout the first five years of the war. It was like a skeleton version of Dedue, always working hard for the Prince and helping him with his goals. Bones would hold the cloak of the prince over him while he slept, like a big boney tent frame. Bones did not talk much. The Prince, because he was sick, did not really wanted to be talked to, so they got along very well._

_One night, close to the Millennium festival at the monastery, the Prince had to get rid of some thieves that were stealing rare artifacts. The prince held his lance on high and announced in a mighty voice, “Die you foul and dirty rats! I shall cleanse the world of you! He swung his mighty lance with his super great strength and took out five of them with a single blow! He was truly awesome and cool._

“We did pretty good until this last part. This is supposed to be about Mister Bones, not about father.” Lambert tries to rein in his younger brother. Let me fix that last paragraph entirely.

_It was getting closer to the Millennium festival’s celebration time. Although the festival would not be held due to the war, all of the Blue Lions agreed to meet at the monastery on that date. The prince, although he was suffering, he too wanted to be there at the academy. He was joined by Bones, his loyal companion. The deadly duo were the first to arrive. They found the evildoers hiding in the great hall. The prince raised his mighty lance and fought the thieves that had tried to make this place their home. Bones fought alongside the Prince. Bones was a mighty fighter, wielding two swords at the same time. Bones was careful to watch the Prince’s back, protecting him from anyone that may try to sneak up on him. Bones did not worry about getting killed in battle, he was already dead. They could stab him and hit him and he could not bleed or feel pain. One of the thieves was a mage, and tried to burn bones with fire. Bones still felt no pain and because he was made with magic the fire did not affect him. Bones took his swords and attacked the mage, finishing him off like the Prince did with his fellow bandits._

_Bones was very strong and took the bodies outside while the Prince tended to his wounds. They cleaned out the Great Hall and the Training grounds. They cleaned out the students dormitories. They found that some of the thieves had locked themselves in a students room. Bones finger fit in the lock and opened it like it was a skeleton key. Then the duo ran into the room, swords and lance flashing, bringing swift justice against the evil thieves._

_The prince knew that Bones was magical but not indestructible. Sometimes his bones would break and they would have to be repaired. This took a lot of time, so they took the armor off of the thieves and evil people they came across. Some of it they used to protect bones, some of it they used to repair the prince’s armor. Bones was very scary to anyone meeting him in battle. With a helmet and plate across his chest, greaves and gauntlets, heavy boots, Bones looked more like a regular person, until you were close and looked into his face. Some cowards ran as soon as they saw what he really was. Once they had cleared most of the buildings, they cleared the Cathedral and the last building was the Goddess tower. It was a difficult battle, mostly fought on stairs where the enemy had the advantage, but Bones and the Prince refused to give up. They fought until the last enemy had been dispatched. They sat together on the highest level. The prince needed sleep and Bones needed to repair many of his bones that were broken in the last fight._

_Professor Byleth soon came back to the monastery after her very long sleep. She found the Prince sleeping at the top. They talked and then they had to go out and remove more thieves. He told Bones to come along and he did. The Professor looked at Bones and went along to go and fight. She was not scared of the walking skeleton._

_They ran outside and found their classmates one by one. They had not noticed Bones until the fighting was over. Bones was standing a distance behind the prince when Annette looked over and saw the face sticking out of the helmet. She screamed and threw a fireball at the skeleton. Bones stood still as the leather on the armor he was wearing caught fire and burned. The Prince explained how he found Bones and that was his companion and nobody on his side should try to kill him._

_Lysithea, Annette and Ashe disagreed. It was like having a ghost living with them because Bones was dead and so were ghosts. Professor Byleth explained that this was magic and it was okay. The three of them stayed as far away as they could because Bones creeped them out. Mercedes thought it was funny and laughed and help put out the fire on Mister Bones._

_They all moved back into their own dormitories, except for the Prince who still was ill and had terrible headaches. He stayed in the Cathedral and Bones watched over him there. Things went okay unless a certain trio had to bring food to the Prince. Bones would prevent anyone from attacking him and stand in front of the prince so that he could not attack them either. This week the first to bring food was Mercedes. She waved to bones as she brought a plate of lunch. She tried to talk to the Prince but he ignored her. When she got back to her friends, Lysithea, Ashe and Annette were all very curious as to how it went. Was she attacked? What happened?_

_Mercedes said it went quietly. “Dimitri ignored me. Bones looked very calm. I guess nothing can get under his skin, eh?_

_Ashe started to chuckle, “Oh! I get it! He doesn’t have any skin to get under. Hah.”_

_Lysithea groaned while Annette just looked worried about when it was her turn to bring food._

_Wherever the Prince went, Bones followed behind and stood behind him. The skeleton was large and his chest was very wide. It reminded everyone of Dedue, who they were told died when he saved Dimitri from being assassinated._

_Some of the students decided maybe they could give Bones a different look, just so they would not think of it being so much like Dedue. They told Bones to take off his armor if he was just around the monastery. That pretty much creeped out Annette, Ashe and Lysithea even more. Mercedes found a light blue dress in the back of the bathhouse, so she put that on Bones. They tied white gloves to the wrists and put a large white wide brimmed hat on the skull. Annette was even brave enough to get really close and put rouge on the cheeks of the skull. Annette giggled. Now Bones looked pretty funny and not really scary at all._

_They started making skeleton jokes at dinner._

_“Hey Ashe! When does a skeleton laugh? When you tickle it’s funny bone!” Annette giggled._

_“I got one.” Mercedes piped up, “How does the skeleton know if it is raining? It can feel it on its bones.”_

_Lysithea joined in, “Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball? Because it had no BODY to go with.”_

_Linhardt was walking past and felt obligated to contribute. “Why did the skeleton not get up in the morning? Because it was a lazy bones.”_

_“Takes one to know one, Lin” Lysithea quipped, hoping to get under his skin._

_One day the army had to head out for a mission. The group moved slowly due to their numbers. Dimitri spoke to Bones, sending him forward to scout out the roads. Bones ran ahead and after a while Bones ran back._

_“50 Banditsss ahead” Bones said in a heavy whisper._

_Sylvain and Lysithea were very shocked. Nobody had told them Bones could speak!_

_The army prepared and were able to vanquish the bandits with no trouble and few injuries. Bones was a useful scout and became invaluable to the army as the war continued._

_The Prince was slowly feeling better. He was practicing the lance with Sylvain. Felix entered the training grounds. As soon as Felix took a training sword, Bones stood in front of him._

_“Pull my finger” Bones said._

_“What the heck.” Grunts Felix._

_Bones holds out his hand and finger in front of Felix._

_Felix pulls his finger._

_Bones entire arm falls off._

_“Ssssee you in court” Bones says then turns away. “Ssssucker” and walks back to stand behind Dimitri._

_Felix stands there with the arm hanging from his hand._

_Sylvain cannot hold it back any longer_ _and_ _begins to laugh his head off. Even the prince is laughing. Felix gets angry and beats Sylvain over the head with the arm and calls Sylvain a Numbskull._

Lambert stops just as lunch carts come through the door. Papers are cleared and the table is set, each child doing their assigned duty. Glenn places the napkins just so, making sure the silverware is lined up correctly. Lambert then fills the plates of his siblings. They talk about other things they know about Mister Bones and after lunch they will continue their homework. Jeralt and Sothifina had been writing their apology letters for disobeying the rule of playing Knights and Bandits inside the palace. Glenn was working on several illustrations for the story.

_Mister Bones fought well along with the rest of the former students. He did not need healing. He never bruised or bled. Lindhardt said that was his favorite thing about him. The skeleton would help protect everyone it could in battles. A thief would stab through the plate on his chest so Bones would turn, dragging the thief with him, disarming the thief or knocking them off balance so that they could be defeated._

_There were a few things that were successful at attacking the animated bones. The dogs of the monastery were always following him around trying to steal a bone or two. Most of them gave up quickly, however there was one Blaiddyd Rex that was extremely fast and strong. It would hide around a corner, only to bound up to full speed, grabbing a leg bone and pulling it from the skeleton. They would then find it half buried somewhere inside the grounds._

_Although very resistant to magic, heavily bladed wind spells would also cause damage to Mister Bones. It would have to soak in hot milk mixed with spinach, broccoli and collard greens to help him rebuild his calcium. He also used powdered bones mixed with thick cheese to fill in breaks and cracks. Fortunately, Mister Bones knew of his self-care needs. He could disassemble into his bones and fit in a large stewpot, so not a lot of the army’s food resources were needed for his caretaking. The only issue would be if the cooks came in early and checked the pot on the stove only to find a skeleton head smiling back at them._

_Bones would help around the monastery, never tiring, never complaining. For being made of bones he was very strong. It could pick up anyone, even Alois in full plate armor. Bones did a lot of rubble clearing, working all day, never breaking a sweat. While the former students and teachers would have meetings and stop for meals, it would be able to continue working. The Professor found that Bones was helpful in food gathering and hunts. They were quiet and very patient. Bones would direct her to a specific area in the woods where there would be plentiful mushrooms. One time the Professor asked why the skeleton knew where the mushrooms were there._

_Mister Bones said, “I feel it in my…”_

_That was the last time the Professor asked that question._

_Mister Bones was of use to everyone in battle. Besides being there to defend the Prince, they also helped defend the rest of the team mates. His bones were used temporarily as splints when theirs were broken. Whenever anyone was too weak to fight, he was the first to take them back to the medical tents. When they were short of horses returning after a battle, it would give them piggyback rides all the way to the monastery. Whenever someone was sad, it listened patiently as they told of their woes and gave a boney hug to anyone that needed it._

_When the war was over, Mister Bones was a participant in the coronation. Standing proudly next to the Professor who became the Archbishop, they held the crown that would be placed on Dimitri’s brow. It also attended the ball afterwards and had danced with every one of the Blue Lions and even a few members of the Golden Deer. Nobody worried about dancing with the skeleton, it never complained about anyone stepping on its feet._

_It was a permanent figure at the castle and went with King Dimitri and Dedue on all their travels and missions. They frequented Garreg Mach for negotiations with Lords from the surrounding lands and other countries. There was a new church built in Fhirdiad, the Church of Sothis which is now headed by the Archbishop Byleth. The King and Archbishop married and live in the castle in the capital of the country. As with many marriages, they are blessed with children._

_The Queen first has the baby in a cradle at the side of the bed, however after a few months, the baby is now in the adjoining nursery. The royal couple is awakened in the dark hours of early morning by a baby’s cry. The queen slowly awakens, dons her robe and slippers and opens the nursery door. To her surprise, Mister Bones is already there, changing the diaper of the young prince, then warmly swaddling the baby, he takes it in his bony arms, sits in the nearby rocking chair and rocks the baby asleep. The skeleton has been with the Queen many times as she has cared for the babe, perhaps it has learned this from her? The Queen softly speaks, “I trust you Bones, should the baby need me, please do not hesitate to find me. Thank you for your yelp”_

_A silent nod is noted as the babe is slowly rocked to sleep._

_The King and Queen had found that Mister Bones was an excellent nanny for the children. Bringing them to the queen for feedings, he then took them to be burped, changed and put back to bed. Bones would not sing them to sleep, he would tap on his ribs that would make musical notes and play them songs until the babies drifted into a peaceful sleep. He then stood guard next to their cribs so that no harm would come to them. As the babies grew older, the babies found that legbones of a skeleton were great to use to pull into a standing position. Also, skeletons had no limitations of how long they could bend over watching babies as they walked holding onto their legs. Jeralt learned to climb up the body of the skeleton to sit on its shoulders before he learned out to walk. Always the daredevil, Jeralt would urge bones to walk around so that Jeralt could grab at people that the skeleton ambled past._

_Mister Bones was a very important and loved member of the Blaiddyd family. They all lived happily ever after._


End file.
